August 2010

     I'd been in the email loop like everyone else. Those outlandish stories of redemption seeming well crafted by the ever prolific writer. Or at least by the creative one with a vivid imagination who was seeking to pull at your heart strings and bring a tear to your eye. These stories remind us what is important in life. As I look over the events which have unfolded in my life over the last few weeks, I am specifically recalling this one particular tale again.

     The teller of the story was standing in a bedroom alongside a dear friend. The friend, a man we'll call Tom, had just lost his wife of many years. I can't recall the circumstances of her death but he was in the process of picking out her clothing for her wake.

     From the closet, Tom pulled out a dress she loved. He picked out matching shoes. Then from a small drawer, he gently lifted her special lingerie. Her delicate peignoir, minus the robe, was in pristine condition, made of a soft satin with matching Queen Anne's lace at the neckline. Tom turned to the story teller and explained.

     "She always loved this nightie. She always saved it for special occasions, never even taking it out of the tissue paper. Now, I'm laying her out in it."

     I retold this story as I spoke to Mami this week. She is gearing up for more chemo as the cancer has spread else where. She spoke of enjoying life to the fullest. I agreed this is critical and thus we made a pact to hold out for hope and to experience joy. No matter what.

     Albeit not cancer, I myself have not had it too easy this last month either. Break up of a romantic relationship, abrupt loss of a business (passionate dream career, actually), family relations impacted. Why it's enough to throw someone into a deep depression.

     I don't come from a history of depression, although I don't fault those who do. Yet, I can't sit still for long. With the publication stopping, I found myself in office after office of business after business explaining the situation. I shook a lot of hands and was thankful to be received warmly. The response all over town was encouraging. People wanted the Green back. So, I knew I had my goal to aim for.

     When I got divorced and we split our belongings, I took the fine silver and I use it everyday. The way I see it, that what's there for. The same for the Green. It's not something to be set aside for later. This is a dream that can happen NOW. Even if it looks different for a while, I made a pact to not let go of hope and to find the joy in every day. I was taught a long time ago that there IS joy in each day. Some days, you just have to look for it a little harder, that's all.

     So serve up the PB&J on the Lenox, everyone. Life is really just too short!

In addition to being the Editor of The Billerica Green, Liana Measmer is a Licensed Social Worker, Billerica resident,  and Mom to three fantastic kids.

     Who is this woman, sitting before me teary and afraid? Facing a health issue she doesn't understand? Conceding that her body is running the show?

     Who is this woman who lays in her bed? Weary and uncomfortable. Small and almost frail. Her wrist bones prominent with down turned eyes and a half smile.

     Who is this woman walking slowly and tentatively? Asking for help and holding her hip. Finding a bench where she can rest just for a moment. Her rows of medicines lined up on the counter.

 

     What I see before me is no different than what every woman in my season of life faces. Aging parents or parents with illness. We walk through life oblivious to time passing with more hustle and bustle than ever before. It sometimes takes a 16 ton weight dropping down on us to wake us back up to living.

     She may look different to me today but my minds eye sees yesterday's picture. Seated on my grandmother's couch, she and I in matching Easter dresses, playing the guitar and singing our favorite song from our heritage. It's the same woman I danced with at my wedding, with my forehead pressed against hers, who whispered words of wisdom to me as I set foot into a new life. It was also this woman who endured an uncomfortable night on a lumpy couch to be at my bedside when the first midnight cries came from my newborn son upon his entrance into this world when I had no clue what I was doing.

     She has taught me about poise, walking with grace no matter where you are in life, good or bad. Some of her happiest times have been some of her most graceful--her own college graduation, her sons' weddings, up the side of Cadillac Mountain with her husband. As she faces her daily battles now, she is just as gracefully lovely in her khaki shorts and her bravest smile.

     A little at a time, she too is learning to trust in all she ingrained in her family. As she listened, so we listen. As she advised, we advise. As she has comforted, we comfort. As she remained steady, so do we. Her trust is an honor that brings out the best in our character. By letting us help her, she sends the message of the value we hold in her life.

     Hang on, Mami. Do what you do best. Do what you do in every other situation you've ever been handed before. Give it your all. You told me once you would only give 100% to every thing you do since you know no other way. Thank you for teaching me that lesson. Now it is my turn to remind you to do it one more time. Because quitting is not an option.

In addition to being the Editor of The Billerica Green, Liana Measmer is a Licensed Social Worker, Billerica resident,  and Mom to three fantastic kids.